It's a strange world out there. And while you sit here reading, right now, somewhere...
* The Pope is looking at his watch and saying, "Sheesh, look at the time."
* One of your relatives is thinking about how much of an asshole you are.
* A fat, naked man is sitting in front of his computer fantasizing about Japanese cartoons.
* Someone is watching a VHS copy of Mariah Carey’s Glitter, and loving it.
* A powerful world leader is tapping his toes to the Toby Keith song playing in his head trying to look like he is paying attention to a meeting of his chief advisors.
* Your parents are listening to Poco and making out on the couch.
* Boston city planners are thinking of what to do when the Big Dig becomes outdated.
* New parents have settled on the name Eugene for their first born, setting forth a chain of events that will either lead to indictment or a career in folk music.
* A Hollywood executive is planning a Saturday morning cartoon based on Brett Easton Ellis’s “American Psycho.” Elsewhere, another executive is making plans to bring “Straw Dogs: The Musical” to Broadway.
* Your doctor is listening to P-Funk, staring at the office aquarium, smoking a big fattie.
* Your cat is humping your favorite bed pillow.
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